Paleo = Possibilities

So, it's lunchtime here and I just ate my Meatza (pronounced "Meat-Za," for those of you who can't believe what you are reading) leftovers from last night. I had to force myself to leave leftovers. Meatza is damn delish. Don't judge. Try it, then judge. I didn't create the Meatza; I didn't perfect it. I just made it, ate it, and loved it.

In fact, the first time I tried it, I was with Sam. It was a "guys' night" that was masterfully dulled to a perfect firepit, NorCal margaritas (more on those later), cigars from Easton, and Meatza.

Sam and I do this whole Paleo thing because about the only other thing we do is CrossFit. And, CrossFit makes you hungry because your body starts eating itself. That, and the Paleo diet really does help you use your body's energy more efficiently (i.e. less tired all the time, whiter eyes, better looking...you know).

There are no gender barriers for a meatza. It is meant for both man and woman...and anyone who might identify as either or both.

What is the Meatza? Well, I'll tell you. But first, let me dismantle your head a bit because I already know you're a judger. You judge most everything. For example, the word "crust" when used with the association of bread = good, yummy, and something you'll sell a bit of your soul for. However, when used by itself or in most any other combination, it somehow becomes associated with underwear. Humor me and don't think about my underwear. And, don't judge my crust.

A Meatza (n.) is a pizza with a meat crust (you figured by now...I hope). That's right, folks. A MEAT CRUST. Don't turn your nose. Don't gafaw. I've seen it all before. It's thin. It's not greasy; and, after you try it, you wonder "where in the hell has this been my whole life?" If Papa Johns really wanted to finally put the nail in Domino's coffin, they outta introduce the Papa Meatza. It's just a matter of time.


Behold! My Meatza.

And this, my friends, is what makes the Paleo diet so supremely amazing. For the few things one sacrifices, he or she gets a whole new world of tremendous in return.

It's a pretty simple make. And don't take this recipe as the end-all-be-all. Be creative and substitue whatever you want. In fact, for God's sake, pretend you have an imagination. For this one I used:

Crust (not underwear)
1 lb locally raised grass-fed beef
1 lb locally raised pork sausage
1 locally raised egg
2 cloves minced garlic (yep, got at farmer's market)
Italian seasoning
tblsp yellow mustard

Toppings (still not underwear):
1 small can of tomato sauce I mixed with fresh garlic, pepper, italian seasoning
1 portabello 'shroom cap
1/2 red pepper (farmer's market)
1 handful fresh spinach
1 tomatillo

How To:
Pre-heat oven to 350. Mix crust ingredients and place in oiled glass baking dish. I don't know sizes, just use one that looks like the size and thickness crust you'd want. Bake crust in oven for 15 minutes. Drain fat. Wipe off excess (fatty fat fat) using paper towel. Add toppings. Place back in oven for 8-10 minutes. Then finish under broiler.

Wipe your chin off and go make one.

A Guide To Start Your Paleo Life

This doesn't have to be difficult. Get over yourself, and get over your whiny little addiction to bread. You'll thank me and everyone else in the Paleo community later. I'm not talking a year later. I'm talking about 14 days or so. That's all. You'll see what I mean. And, it only gets better over time.

The Paleo lifestyle is simple and there are a few different philosophies that range based on your athleticism. I'm going to summarize them here. If I'm wrong, feel free to call me out, but please back it with references (not 'cause I'm being an ass, but because I want to learn). 

Here are the fundamentals (drastically summarized and drawn from The Paleo Solution: The Original Human Diet by Robb Wolf). It's a great book; however, most people I know get a little bored or lost when he geeks out with the scientific sections. I understand, although I appreciate the scientific backing. 

The Point: 

• The way we eat now is hurting us, causing disease, obesity, etc. through a variety of inflammatory responses in our blood, organs, and body. 
• Humans didn't eat like we do now until after the agricultural revolution. On the football field of life, this  represents only the last 2.5 yards
• The diet eliminates foods that "were not designed to be eaten" and elicit low to moderate levels of inflammatory toxins. Example, blueberrys = meant to be eaten (you get nutrition, it gets reproduction after you poop its seeds out in the woods); wheat germ = dies inside you when you eat it, fights you with inflammatory toxins
• The way we use energy in our modern diet is far different from those of our paleolithic ancestors: glycogen (now) vs. ketones (paleo). A full sustained paleo diet allows your body to perform more efficiently so it may sustain longer periods of physical activity through preventing your body from going into anerobic exercise. (See My Experiment) 
• Inflammatory responses trigger other responses (i.e. cholesterol storage, fat storage, free radical invasion, unhealthy mitochondria (the nuclear power plants of your cells) and unhealthy cell reproduction
• Nutritionists don't usually advocate for this diet. Why? They generally receive their certification to offer advice and counseling from the FDA model which uses grains as the very basis of the food pyramid. Why would the FDA do such a thing? Umm...well, money. How much money in subsidies does our government pump into corn, wheat, etc? Yep.
• Grass-fed meats are the aspiration. If the cow eats corn and you eat the cow, you eat the corn.       
•  Soapbox Sidenote: Cows are not meant to eat corn. They are fed antibiotics to keep them alive from all the diseases they get after their bodies start shutting down from eating something their rumen (stomachs/bacteria/system) cannot and were not made to digest. Corn makes cows big. That's why we feed them corn.
• Know any other species of animal that is over-medicated because of poor diet?

The Myths (de-mythed):

• MYTH: This is about cavemen (or cave women). FALSE! It's about the healthy 6 foot tall, largely disease-free Paleolithic ancestors who were doing well into they discovered how to harvest grains, corn, etc. 
• MYTH: You eat just meat and fats. FALSE!  In fact, I eat more vegetables now than I ever have in my life
• MYTH: It's not sustainable because you sacrifice too much good stuff. BULLSHIT! You will discover more amazing foods and combinations that you have ever imagined past your normal meat and potatoes, spaghetti, pizza, or whatever the hell you are eating now. 
• MYTH: It's expensive. HELL NO. It's not. With a little practice and a plan, you can and will actually lower your grocery bill. This blog will, in part, tell you how. I'm a mad genius like that.

What Not To Eat:

• Grains (Soy, Wheat, corn, quinoa, buckwheat, spelt, etc.) 
• Legumes (peanuts, peas, some say cashews, soybeans, beans, i.e. lentils, chickpeas, pintos, black, red, navy you name it)  
• Milk, Cheese, butter
• Heavy starches (potatoes, red skin potatoes)
• Processed foods, heavy salt
• Vegetable oil (made from soybeans)
• Canola Oil (made from cans and olas)

What To Eat: 

There are over 8000 meal combinations you can partake in. This list is by no means comprehensive. 

• Lean, Grass-Fed Meats. If the cow you're eating ate corn as its primary diet source, then so are you.
• Vegetables: (carrots, celery, sweet potatoes, squash, tomatoes, etc.)
• try to limit sweet potatoes to work out days or early mornings
• try to limit higher glycemic vegetables (if fat loss is your goal), i.e. turnips, parsnips, beets
• Fruits:
• ranked in order of preference: 1. berries 2. apples 3. melon 4. bananas and peaches 5. sugar citrus (oranges - lemons and limes are A-OK)
• Non-Animal fats: almonds, macadamia nuts, walnuts, avacados
• Oils: (also a non-animal fat): olive oil, sunflower oils (great to cook with)

YOU MUST USE YOUR NOGGIN 

The Paleo diet is not a strict format; it's a philosophy. You have to think about what you eat and WHY.
Most people have no idea what they eat. For example.

• Soy sauce is something you can't have. Why? Made of soy, also contains wheat. What, wheat? Yep. Wheat. Don't eat it.
• Hummus is made of chick peas. Chick peas are legumes (beans). So, no hummus. 
• Most store bought seasonings contain wheat or soy ingredients and therefore contain gluten. Read the labels. 
• Wanna thicken that soup with corn strach? Don't even try it. Not paleo friendly.
• Kevin, what about onions? They aren't on your list. Answer: Derrrr...My list wasn't comprehensive. Onions are vegetables. Eat them. Use your noggin.
• Don't cheat. Unless you are doing some intense atheletic training, you can't really cheat. If you do intense training, you can take down a protein shake, a glass of milk, some chocolate, or virtually whatever your conscience will allow within a half hour of your intense exercise. Why? Your body moves the sugars differently during that time period. Otherwise, stick to the plan. After 14 days, it gets easy.

Major Barriers:

There are some big barriers one must overcome; I did too.

1. The initial sacrfice: parting with foods you love. This is more difficult for some than others. Make a choice and commit.

2. Withdrawal. Some of you sugar addicts will realize very quickly how relative sugar is to heroine. This goes away within a few days. Drink water, tea, something. Don't drink artificial sweetners as they just trick your brain and you really never overcome the addiction.

3. Weird feeling. I have to admit, the first few days no one feels too great. Your body is converting itself; there will be some changing happening. Embrace them. In 10-14 days time you will be reborn. (I've known a lot of people now to experience exactly what I mean. In fact, I haven't met someone who hasn't)

4. Stocking your food stores. This one was tough and it takes some practice. You either didn't buy the right thing or not enough of the right thing. Meal planning takes a little time to master. But, soon enough, it's a way of life.

My Experiment - My Personal Proof 

So, if you've read my first post, I started this whole thing because I wanted to see if the hype was true.
Well, it is. In fact, within the past two weeks, I just learned and did two interesting things.

1. I ran a marathon (26.2) in under four hours with no real training. One day I went out and ran 20 miles to see if I could, and it was easy. I never got brain drain or too tired. Besides my usual CrossFitting, this was pretty much the extent of it.

2. Just got my blood tested. The results, the lowest cholesterol and best blood balance I've ever had in my life (High HDLs = Good, High LDLs = Bad). You can see for yourself below.

Total Cholesterol: 131
HDL: 78
LDL: 39
Triglycerides: 72
Glucose: 83

Not bad for 150 eggs every month ;-)


This is a Paleo Friendly Salad from Chipotle. It has romaine lettuce, fajita vegetables, double meat (chicken and steak) two salsas, guac, and I doused it with lemon.

The Joy of Squash

October means changing leaves, cider, apples, and, most importantly for my Paleo Peeps, October means SQUASH. I used to turn my nose up at such a thought.

Then I started saying "yes" to life. Now, I see squash as opportunity.

The English word "squash" derives from askutasquash (a green thing eaten raw), a word from the Narragansett language, which was documented by Roger Williams, the founder of Rhode Island, in his 1643 publication A Key Into the Language of America. (WIKI, WIKI, What!)

Squash is highly affordable and comes in different forms:
- Acorn Squash
- Butternut Squash
- Pumpkins (heirloom, traditional, etc.)
- Summer Squash
- Zuccinni
- Hubbard
- Spaghetti
- Name some others!

Best Place to Buy:
Local farmer's markets. 1/2 price of what you'd pay at Wal-Mart, Kroger, or any other chain.

In addition to being paleo-friendly, loaded with fiber and vitamins, squash also offer great value. One half of one acorn squash offers a heaping lump of mashed delciousness, twice the size of the normal serving of mashed potatoes.

Bonus Snack!
You also get a great snack too. Ever roast pumpkin seeds? Same deal. Don't throw away those seeds. Pick them apart, rub them down with some EVOO, some gluten-free seasoning, and throw in the oven at 375 degrees until they are nice and toasty-looking (less time for smaller seeds).

Carving pumpkins this Halloween?
Don't waste the insides! Once you separate the seeds, take all that stuff you'd normally throw away (or hopefully compost), add it to a pot of water, boil until fork-tender, and then puree while still warm in blender. Add EVOO and pepper to smooth out flavor.

Again, Paleo doesn't have to be expensive if you don't waste potential food.

Freezer
Have a large freezer? Squash freezes well if you cook it, puree it, and seal it in an airtight ziplock freezer bag. Make sure to lay flat while freezing to save space. Load up now and enjoy until next fall's crop.

An example recipe:
(I made this last night and can't wait to make again).
Roasted Acorn Squash

What you need:
1. Acorn Squash, cut in half
2. Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
3. pinch sea salt and fresh cracked pepper
4. Foil lined baking sheet
5. Oven at 375

What you do:
Turn on oven and pre-heat to 375 and warm baking sheet in oven.
Cut the acorn in half, remove seeds (and save!), rub down exposed flesh with EVOO, dash with salt and pepper, and lay face down on warm baking sheet for 15-20 minutes or until the outter skin wrinkles and is soft to touch.

Remove and let cool a bit, then squeeze or spoon out insides. Add salt, pepper, or other seasonings to taste.

Okay...I'm going to go eat some squash now.

Here's what I ate last night:

To the left of the yellow squash is a combination of:
- smoked pulled pork stir-fried with EVOO, green beans, fresh kale (farmer's market), carrots, brocolli, califlower and fresh garilc.

Almond Butter for $3.99/lb

That's right, friends. You're committed to Paleo and if you're like me, you're likely addicted to almond butter right now. However, it gets expensive. Yet, neither almond butter nor the paleo diet have to be.

On a side note: So far, my absolute favorite brand of almond butter (AB) for both price, consistency, and taste is, by far, Trader Joe's "Crunchy Almond Butter with Golden Flaxseed." This AB has it all: healthy plant fats, protein, great roasted nutty taste, and a hearty texture, perfect for eating straight up or on a banana. Mix a bit of cinnamin in and you're in Heaven. Retails for $4.99 a 16 ounce jar.

However, I don't live near a Trader Joes and they don't ship it. Even the local bulk food place I live near sells a pound of AB for over $7.00. There's a better way.

Aldis (which is actually part of the Trader Joes company) sells a purple 1Lb bag of dry roasted almonds for a mere $3.99. Find an Aldis and buy them up.

What you need:

1. food processor
2. two tbls olive oil
3. 1lb bag of Southern Grove (aldi's brand) dry roasted almonds (no salt)
4. pinch of sea salt (optional)

Simply add almonds to processor, add oil, salt, and turn on for 3-5 minutes, depending on the power of your food processor.

Give it time. You'll watch the whole evolution of almonds to butter and wonder at one point if this will ever really happen. It will. Your almonds will go from crushed almonds, to almond meal, stick there for a bit (stop and stir if you must), then merge into a paste that acts like a bunch of wet clothes in a lob-sided-loaded washing machine (ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk) and then suddenly transform into smooth, delicious AB..

For chunky-style, puliverize some almonds on the side and stir them in.